Forevermore Read online

  “Did you have a chance to do some research?” Briony dove right in, probably sensing that I’d already counted well into the three hundreds by now.

  “Yes. We both did and Austy made a call to her friend in Maryland.”

  Briony reached for my hand as we waited for the news. Our last phone call with Olivia had given us hope. Hope that we probably shouldn’t have, but it opened the door for the future we’d planned.

  Lauren continued, “Unfortunately, it still depends on the aunt. You could petition the court for custody, but you don’t have a legal standing with Olivia.”

  “So basically the same as what we went through here?” Briony asked, defeat thickening her tone. My shoulders fell. I probably shouldn’t have suggested we call Lauren when we found out that Olivia’s aunt broke off the engagement.

  “Yes. I’m sorry. I wish there was something more we could do. I should have recommended you try for legal standing before all of this happened.” Lauren looked upset by this omission.

  “Please don’t take on any guilt for this, Lauren.” Briony assured her. “It happened so quickly. We were waiting for school to let out before formalizing things.”

  “We can’t petition for adoption now?” I asked the question outright, even though Lauren had pretty much told us again that we couldn’t.

  Lauren must have heard the catch in my throat because she looked away and swallowed roughly. Austy spoke up instead. “Not without the blood relative giving up custody.”

  “What exactly did Olivia tell you?” Lauren asked me about the phone call that prompted this meeting.

  “That she and her aunt had moved out and the wedding was off. They were looking for a new apartment, but they weren’t having any luck. Knowing her aunt is a payroll clerk, I doubt she can afford much in a suburb of Washington. Her aunt apparently asked her parents for help, but it looks like they refused.”

  “And you think this means she’s considering giving Olivia up?” Lauren asked.

  “It’s wishful thinking,” Briony spoke our hopes out loud. “It’s likely that she only took Olivia in because she was getting married. She thought her life would be stable, and now it’s turned upside down. She’s barely out of college. Most people that age living near a city need a roommate to make ends meet. Taking care of a kid may be too much for her.”

  Lauren nodded. “I hope you’re right.”

  “She’s trying to be brave, but she’s reverting,” I added because it seemed vital that they know why we thought we might have a chance here. “She doesn’t talk much on the phone, and she’s been on the verge of crying more than once.”

  “She’s losing herself there,” Briony summed up our viewpoint. “It might just be an adjustment period, but I don’t want her to lose hold of that amazing girl she was with us.”

  Austy leaned forward and asked gently, “Have you spoken to the aunt?” Her posture gave the impression that she was eager for the answer no matter who responded or what might be said. It must win her a lot of favor in court. According to the group’s gossip, Austy had more wins in court than Lauren.

  “No. We tried when she was here, but she wasn’t interested in meeting us.”

  “You could try calling her,” Austy suggested.

  “We could call her on your behalf,” Lauren suggested instead.

  Austy shook her head and placed her hand on Lauren’s arm. “It would be better if it came from them. That way it doesn’t seem adversarial.”

  “That’s why she was valedictorian,” Lauren tilted her head in Austy’s direction and beamed at us.

  “I was not,” Austy shot back, red flushing her cheeks.

  “She’s right,” Lauren talked over her friend’s embarrassment. “The next time you’re on the phone with Olivia, ask to say hello to the aunt. Have a few phone calls like that just to get acquainted. You might find out a little more about her frame of mind.”

  Briony and I nodded at her suggestion. That would probably be the best way to approach this. It would take time and might not produce any results, but Austy was right. If we accused her of not being able to take care of Olivia anymore, she could cut off all contact.

  “Do we have a chance of getting her back now that she’s in Maryland?” I was worried about that detail, too.

  “If she re-entered the foster system, you would have to be a registered foster family in Maryland,” Austy told us. “My friend tells me it’s a much shorter process since you already qualify here.”

  “If it comes to adoption,” Lauren took up the conversation. “Her being in Maryland actually helps you since they’re more open to all family types there. You’ll have two options. There’s public adoption out of the foster care system, or private adoption that would deal directly with the aunt. Public adoption can take a year or two, and it’ll be more difficult with you living out of state. Private adoption doesn’t take as long, but it’s costly because you’re paying for the home study and other fees.”

  We nodded again, looking at each other. We expected the private route would be the best option and knew it would be costly. Briony and I made good money, but I didn’t know what a lawyer thought was expensive. If we had to, we could take out a second mortgage or maybe I’d swallow my pride and finally ask Willa for a loan.

  “Try to talk to the aunt then private adoption if that’s what comes of it?” Briony summed everything up.

  “It’s your best path,” Austy told us. Her eyes landed on mine. “You must miss her terribly. I wish we could offer a different solution, but family law is complicated.”

  Complicated and not always justified. If we’d been Olivia’s aunts, no judge would have ruled in favor of a twenty-four-year-old woman with one year of work experience now sharing an apartment with a friend.

  Once again, I couldn’t help but think this was my fault. If Briony and I had started the adoption process when we first discussed it, we might have been able to fight in court. We might not have retained custody because the courts place way too much emphasis on blood relations, but we could have fought the immediate placement.

  I stood, not wanting to take up more of their weekend. “We appreciate what you’ve found out. Thank you both.”

  “You’re welcome. Please let us know what comes of this. I can draw up the papers and represent you if it goes your way,” Lauren offered.

  “Thanks, Laur. You’re the best.” Briony leaned in for a hug. “Austy, we appreciate you working on this.”

  Their news wasn’t as good as we’d hoped, but now we had an action plan to follow. It might not go anywhere, but we had to give it a try.

  23 / OLIVIA

  IT WAS HARD TO sleep. Paige didn’t keep the air-conditioner on at night so I kept waking up and kicking off my covers. Plus they were still up talking. They did this after they thought I was asleep. We hadn’t found a place yet. Now we were looking for a two bedroom with a den that she and Paige could share. Paige couldn’t move out for another month, but they’d be able to afford a better place if they were both going to live there. They said they could fit a bed into a den space for me, so we’d all have our own rooms. I guess it was better than a one bedroom for my aunt and the couch for me.

  I rolled to the edge of the pullout couch and reached down for my backpack. My fingers skimmed the sturdy material. I’d been doing this a lot lately. The texture seemed to help whenever I felt all tangled up inside. Touching something that was mine, something that came with a lot of good memories. It was almost like I could relive the happy day I got it again.

  It felt like it was a hundred degrees in here. It didn’t help having to listen to them rehashing all the stuff they didn’t like about the last apartment we looked at. Unzipping one of the interior compartments, I pulled out my memory book. Almost every page had a picture of my mom, some with me, one with her and Aunt Nell, one with all of us. I flipped past the remaining blank pages to the last few. When I’d been stuck in my bedroom at Ian’s, I decided to add photos of my time with Briony and M. They
’d made copies of all the photos they took of us and gave them to me. I kept some on my phone and added the best to the book. I’d look at these for a few minutes and try to get back to sleep.

  Or I thought I would, until I heard them change the topic from crappy apartments to something else.

  “What do you think they want?” Paige asked.

  My aunt’s voice didn’t carry as well as Paige’s, but I could still hear their conversation from the end of the hall. “I don’t know. They say just a visit, but what if it’s something more?”

  Who would be visiting? Their friends? Aunt Nell’s parents? What was the something more they could want? Were they going to try to convince Aunt Nell to give me up like they did with my mom? Sleeping on a pullout couch in hundred degree temps and overhearing every word people said in the apartment wasn’t as bad as being sent back to the unknown of foster care. I’d sleep on a couch for the rest of my life if it meant I wouldn’t have to spend any more time in a group home.

  “What if they do? Would that be so bad?”

  “Wouldn’t it? What if they’re like Ian says?”

  Paige laughed in a sarcastic way. “Ian’s a hypocrite. You can’t believe anything he said. It’s not like I know a whole lot of them, but the ones I’ve met seem okay. Definitely nothing like Ian’s been preaching.”

  “You really think they’d be good for her?”

  I was trying to follow what they were saying. It sounded like they were talking about me, but they kept saying ‘they’ and not using my name. It could be about their college friends. They talked about them a lot. Ian hadn’t liked many of Aunt Nell’s college friends.

  “If they’d been bad for her, I don’t think she’d be this good.”

  “What about the guilt?”

  “I was there, Nell, remember? You were devastated when Nina died. You couldn’t do anything then, and you’ve felt guilty ever since. It’s why you let Ian rush you into it. He had an idea of a perfect family and a warped view once he found out about them. She likes them. Everything she said about them tells me they’re good people. Hell, it sounded better than my childhood.”

  They were definitely talking about me, but I still couldn’t understand what they meant. Why was Paige bringing this up now? Did something happen today that made Aunt Nell feel extra guilty about not wanting me at first? Was a social worker coming by again? Someone visited a week after we’d moved into Ian’s, but Aunt Nell said that would be the last time since she was my guardian not a foster parent. Maybe she’d been wrong.

  “I don’t know,” Aunt Nell groaned.

  “Let’s just see, okay?” Paige encouraged her. “It can’t hurt. If you don’t feel good about them, then that’s it. But it may work out for you.”

  Somehow that didn’t feel all that encouraging to me.

  24 / OLIVIA

  PAIGE’S BOYFRIEND WAS TAPPING his keys against his leg, impatient. Aunt Nell and Paige were still in the bathroom getting ready for us to go out to lunch. They were taking forever. I didn’t blame Dillon for being impatient.

  “You excited?” he asked me.

  Excited? For what? Lunch? Paige and Aunt Nell stopped for lunch while looking at apartments all the time. Maybe we were going someplace special. Maybe that was why they were taking so long to get ready.

  Before I could ask what he meant, they finally came out of the bathroom and started herding us to the door. All of a sudden we were in a rush. I’d learned to just go with the flow whenever adults started acting weird.

  We headed to a restaurant that’d we’d gone to before. It wasn’t any place fancy. Not worth all that time they spent getting ready in the bathroom. I wish my jeans didn’t have a hole in them, but Paige didn’t have a sewing kit to patch them up. I was going to have to buy one the next time we went to the store.

  Inside, Dillon went up to the hostess stand and we waited while she gathered some menus. Aunt Nell put her arm around my shoulders and guided me in front of her. That was a little weird. Usually she and Paige would go where they needed to go and I’d be following behind.

  “Livy!”

  I stopped in my tracks. That sounded like Caleb, but he wouldn’t be here. My eyes raced around the restaurant anyway. I spotted him in two seconds. He was standing beside a table near the back window. Briony and M were there, too. I couldn’t believe it. My heart started pounding and I felt like I might cry. I didn’t think I’d ever see them again.

  Caleb started toward me, but Briony stood and held onto his arm, leaning over to whisper at him. He stepped back and waved wildly at me. I waved back. My smile stretched so wide it hurt my face. I was so glad to see them.

  “Surprise,” Aunt Nell said from behind me. “Is this okay?”

  Is this okay? It’s the best thing ever. Why didn’t she tell me? “It’s great,” I practically shouted with glee. I didn’t care if this would only last an hour. I never thought I’d be with them again. I’d take everything I could from this visit.

  Aunt Nell drew in a breath and nodded. She seemed to need a second before she started toward their table. She’d only just started talking to them on the phone a couple of weeks ago. At first it was just hello, but the last two times I spoke to Briony, she’d talked to Aunt Nell for a few minutes each time. They must have been planning this lunch surprise.

  When I reached the table I didn’t even have time to say hi before Briony wrapped me in her arms. “It’s so good to see you, sweetie.”

  I squeezed her hard, pouring every minute I’d missed her into the hug. She felt exactly the same, like safety and warmth and home all in one, and she smelled the same, like trees in the woods where we’d take hikes sometimes. Soft and strong and a world champion hugger.

  Too soon she let go, but it was to hold her hand out to my aunt. “Hello, Nell, it’s nice to meet you in person.”

  Caleb reached over and gave me a hug that was a series of gentle back slaps. He talked a mile a minute, so fast that I could barely understand him. I was still dazed from the surprise and missed most of what he was saying.

  Over his shoulder, I saw M step forward and shake Aunt Nell’s hand. My eyes widened at the sight. She didn’t shake peoples’ hands, not unless she had to. My principal, my social worker, my teacher, but she’d let Briony do all the other greeting for them.

  “Nice to meet you both,” Briony was telling Paige and Dillon as M came over to me.

  When she leaned down and hugged me, tears pushed at my eyes. I didn’t want them to see how sad I’d been and how much I’d missed them, so I blinked them away. It wouldn’t be a nice thing to do to Aunt Nell, either. I just concentrated on how good it felt to be in M’s arms again. Briony was all safety and warmth in her hugs. M gave reassurance that everything would be okay in hers. She smelled like clean linen fresh from the dryer. A little leaner than Briony, she always felt more strong than soft, but I loved her hugs just as much.

  “Hi, Olivia. We’ve missed you so much.”

  I nodded my head against her shoulder and finally released her. I didn’t want to get too used to these hugs again. It had taken me weeks before I stopped remembering how they felt every night.

  Briony ran her fingers over my hair while I was in M’s embrace. She turned to gesture for everyone to take a seat around the table. “We’re so glad you all could make it today. We’ve been looking forward to this for weeks.”

  I jerked back in surprise. They’d been planning this get together for weeks? Briony must have caught my shock because her smile faltered.

  “Your aunt must be really good at keeping surprises, huh?” she said to me before telling everyone, “I was always lousy at it. Caleb says he can find any present I try to hide the second I hide it.”

  I felt numb as Caleb pulled me into a seat next to him. He bumped my shoulder and said hello again. He looked happy, like he pretty much always looked. He looked tan, too. He’d spent a lot of time outside this summer. I bet Hank and Eden looked the same way. It suddenly became real how different my su
mmer was from the one we’d planned.

  After we ordered, Briony and M made small talk with my aunt and her friends. I kept watching Aunt Nell, feeling her nerves from beside me. She was halfway through her meal before she finally started to relax. Briony was good at getting people to talk.

  “Hey, I just realized who you are.” Dillon was looking directly at M. She stiffened in her chair but kept an open smile on her face. “You taught that ops management class I took at UVA one summer. That was a killer class. Paige, you remember me talking about that. I loved that class. You were great.”

  “Oh, thanks. I’m glad you liked it,” M responded quietly. This wasn’t the first time we’d run into former students. She always seemed amazed that they’d remember her.

  Aunt Nell shot him a look like he’d just jumped on M’s side. Why was she upset with him? Were there sides here?

  “Are you visiting the area or just passing through?” Paige asked when Aunt Nell’s glare cut Dillon off.

  “We’re headed up to Vermont to visit my parents,” Briony told her. “Flying out of Dulles.”

  “We’re a bit out of the way here,” Paige pointed out.

  Briony smiled at her then looked at me. “It’s not too far for a visit with this one. We’re so happy to see you, Livy.”

  I nodded and smiled. My throat was tight. With the move to my aunt’s and the breakup with Ian, I’d forgotten about the trip to see Caleb’s grandparents and aunts. Their plan was to get permission from my social worker so I could go with them. They couldn’t get it for Christmas because my social worker had been sick and her replacement rejected the request. I thought they’d go anyway because they always went home at Christmas, but they didn’t. And since Briony and Caleb weren’t coming to them, her whole family came to us. That was a way cool thing to do, and everyone was super nice to me. I’d hoped to get to see them again this summer.

  “When does school start here?” Caleb asked me.

  I frowned and looked at my aunt. I didn’t know. I didn’t even know what school I was going to be in. It was still a month away, but I wanted to know now.