Uncommon Emotions Read online

  She turned with a timid smile. “Hello.”

  “I needed a break,” I admitted, coming to a stop beside her.

  “Not your kind of crowd?”

  “Hardly, but I can mix it up when there’s a good reason.”

  “Same’s true for me. If it weren’t for Elise, I’d be out riding right now.”

  “She’s stunning,” I let slip without editing. Raven turned an interested glance my way. “Really, she could be a model.”

  “Probably because she was, not that she lets anyone know that.”

  “Wow, well, you two make a nice couple. She seems great.”

  Raven’s jaw nudged open. “She is great, but we’re not together. She’s married actually.”

  “Oh, I assumed…”

  “In fact, that’s her partner right now.” She pointed a long finger downward to the path outside the lodge doors.

  We watched a short, slim figure walk with purpose toward a solitary Elise and touch her back in greeting. When the former model turned around, excitement and joy exploded out from her in almost tangible form. The shorter woman fit herself into Elise’s open arms and pulled her tight. When she tilted her face up, their lips met and I felt the effect from twenty feet away. “That’s Austy, and they make a perfect couple.”

  “I see that,” I managed in a rough voice. Watching the couple kiss twisted my insides like I was working the trapeze lines without a net. Heat seeped through my body as their kiss ended and they exchanged an envious look.

  “Your date is very handsome and nice. As is your father.”

  At the sound of Raven’s voice, my head snapped around to look at her. “They’re both hams so don’t let them hear you say that,” I scoffed. “And Marco’s not my date.”

  “Does he know that?”

  I wanted to laugh, but she seemed entirely serious. Too serious. “Marco isn’t legally my brother, but that’s how my dad and I think of him.” She cocked her head, turning to face me. “Our dads were best friends. They owned the contracting biz jointly. Marco and I spent every summer and school vacations working the jobsites from the time we were old enough to swing a hammer.

  “He lost his parents in a car accident when he was fifteen, and his whole world changed. His relatives yanked him to California where he bounced from one household to another, getting into trouble while trying to deal with all his anger at being abandoned. Less than a year later, he hitched his way back, showed up on our doorstep and never left. He became my brother that day and my father’s son.

  “Dad took him on as an apprentice after he finished high school then gave him his father’s half of the business. Now, he owns it outright. He’s an extraordinary person, and I couldn’t ask for a better big brother.”

  “I would have to agree.” She nodded solemnly. “He’s overcome a lot, and I bet he feels just as lucky to have you and your dad in his life.”

  “Thank you, Raven. That’s very kind of you to say.”

  “So…”

  “Yes.”

  We locked eyes and something electric crackled between us. The guarded veil lifted from her brown again and trapped me in place. If someone blew a trumpet right in my ear, I wouldn’t even flinch. My awareness existed only on her, those delicate cheekbones, sparkling eyes, disappearing line over one side of her lip when she stopped smiling, raised mole on the side of her long neck, provocative earlobes. Beauty personified.

  The faintness I’d felt in my stomach witnessing Elise and her partner’s kiss plunged toward uncontrollable vertigo. I wanted to close my eyes against the unsteadiness, but then I’d lose sight of her and that thought made me even more lightheaded. I silently screamed at my brain to make me move, but paralysis beleaguered me.

  Raven’s eyes took in every feature on my face, dropping to my mouth countless times. That same look of yearning crept into her eyes, but something held her back from kissing me. Something that was powerful enough to make her ignore her longing. Could I rival that powerful entity?

  I forced my eyes to look at her mouth with those slightly parted, full lips. It was the only movement my body could manage under the weight of my desire. I’d gone my whole life without ever once feeling this, and when I finally do, I couldn’t move.

  Her eyes flicked back to mine with pleading. Oh no! She wasn’t going to act on this. Something kept her from taking that step. I guess I had the answer to my earlier question. I wasn’t enough for her to take a chance. She blinked harshly with a tight smile and nodded once. Swiveling abruptly, she took a step back toward the lodge.

  My hand reached out on its own and grasped her forearm, turning her back. “Raven, please.” She cocked her head at the pleading tone in my voice, but she had to know what I meant. She halved the distance between us, studying my eyes intently. Her gaze dropped to take in my entire length before landing back on my mouth.

  “Do something,” I whispered, unable to voice anything more specific. Whatever she did would feel right.

  Her eyes clenched shut. When they popped open, she leaned forward, placing a whisper of a kiss on my cheek. As her lips left my face, I felt her hands grasp my hips and pull me closer. Another feathery kiss landed on my forehead. I shivered when the night air touched the damp imprint after her lips moved on to my other cheek. Something like lightning singed along my body at the first press of her lithe frame to mine.

  I found her eyes when she tilted back from the tender adoration of my face. No one had ever done that before. The gesture told me that she got just as much, if not more, from giving pleasure as from taking it. The realization nearly made me topple forward from displaced weightiness.

  One of her hands moved from my hip up to cup my face. Delicate fingers slinked along my jaw to rest fingertips in my hair and a palm on my cheek. The motion spurred mine to slide around her shoulders. As her soft lips first pressed to mine, my head pitched backward at the unfamiliar burst of passion that blasted through me. She followed the motion, tightening her grip. I shot a hand up to her nape, pulling her into me. Supple lips moved over mine with a combined tenderness and fervor that I’d thought could only exist in dreams. Her kiss cherished and pleasured, nothing about it demanded.

  A faint sound poured into my mouth, igniting a flood of lava that went straight to my center. I needed more of her.

  My tongue reached inside and her moan repeated at a more insistent volume. Our tongues tangled together as our lips tested every surface. Gently, I tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth before losing myself again in her kiss. Her hands moved around me to embrace my body as expertly as her mouth caressed mine.

  When I shifted a leg between hers to keep from falling to my knees from the heady desire, she yelped into my mouth and jerked back. The sudden loss of her heat and softness made me stumble forward. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to gain some balance. A step away, Raven’s chest heaved rapidly, a look of shock on her face.

  “What’s wrong?” I spoke between gulping breaths.

  “Raven?”

  “This isn’t a good idea,” she said in a rough whisper.

  The words shocked me. That was the most potent, blistering, heart-stopping kiss of my life, and she didn’t think it was a good idea? She’d been right there with me, hearts pounding, hands grasping, tongues stroking, lips searching. I started toward her, but she stepped back like we were in a ballroom dance competition. Not a good sign.

  Before I could say anything else, I heard Marco’s voice call out. “Hey, Jos, there you are.” My head whipped around to find him stepping onto the pathway to our ledge.

  “Phoebe’s up in the next group. We should get seated.” My eyes went back to Raven. The whole reason I was here tonight was to show support for Marco’s wife who was being honored for her work as a hostage negotiator for the police. She hated attention, but having us here would make the notice easier to take. “I’m sorry, I have to get inside. His wife gets anxious about the spotlight. We have to be there for her.”

  “Sure,” Raven said. �
�Go. This is her moment, right?”

  “Jos? They’ll be starting any minute, now,” Marco insisted.

  “Yeah.” I moved forward, and Raven made a concerted sidestep to avoid brushing up against me. How could I have read that kiss so wrong? “Goodnight, Raven.”

  “Night,” she spoke as her glance touched my face. A repeat of the searing heat from her kiss accompanied the glance. She turned back toward the lodge and waved at my brother. “Goodnight, Marco.”

  “Bye, Raven.” He reached a hand out and clasped my elbow to usher us inside. If he’d seen what happened, he didn’t say anything. For that I was grateful, because I didn’t know what to think myself.

  Chapter 15

  The sigh sounded content, echoing through the small conference room. When it bounced back to me, I snapped alert, realizing I’d been the one to issue the sound. Terrific.

  How many times had I done that this morning? At least no one was around to witness this complete lack of concentration and near dreamy state of being.

  Those silky lips, tormenting fingers, smooth hair, taut but supple body touched peripherally at first then reached inside to caress all that I was. Her fragrance, a fusion of rosewater and citrus, jumbled with the pounding water from the falls and the sharp scent of evergreen pine surrounding us. The taste of her so savory, I was certain I’d never get enough.

  Then it had stopped so suddenly it took my breath like a blow to the midsection. Even hours and hours later, I couldn’t say which would cause more pain.

  The rest of the night passed in a haze. I’d watched Phoebe receive her accommodation and provided a buffer between her and the many people who approached to offer congratulations. Marco, Dad, and I had perfected our Great Wall impression as soon as we realized Phoebe was the shy type. Afterward, I searched for Raven, hoping to speak with her, but she’d disappeared.

  On the drive home, Marco, who’d needed a ride when his wife had to stay behind for a photo op, was strangely quiet. Usually, he’d be telling me all about whatever his homeowner’s latest demands were at his current contracting project. He had a million great stories. When he spoke, it wasn’t to say that his client wanted something horribly tacky like fuchsia carpet. No, when he spoke, he asked about me. “Anything you want to tell me, Jos?” I glanced over at him in the passenger seat. The dark interior didn’t allow me to see his expression clearly. I could make out that some of his brown curls, usually tamed to the top of his head, had loosened onto his forehead. “Don’t think so. You okay?”

  “Maybe I should have asked that a different way. Why don’t you tell me about her?”

  My mouth popped open, calming breaths pushed in and out. The pounding in my heart moved directly to my ears, and I found it hard to keep my bearings. “Her?”

  “I saw you, Jos. I didn’t mean to, but when I went looking for you, you were…”

  “Kissing a woman,” I finished for him.

  “At first that’s what went through my mind. Joslyn’s kissing a woman. But after watching you for a second, I thought, no, she’s kissing Raven.”

  I tried to split my concentration between the road and what he’d just said. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I went from being shocked to see you, who as far as I know is straight, kissing a woman to being shocked that you were kissing that woman.”

  “I don’t get your meaning.”

  He laughed in that comforting way of his that always made me feel safe and loved. “From the first time I caught that fumbling idiot in high school kissing you behind the gymnasium to the many boyfriends I’ve tried to intimidate because they weren’t good enough for you, all the way up to that putz, Chase. I mean really, Jos, what the hell were you doing with him?”

  I coughed at his bluntness. “Where are you going with this? And there haven’t been that many boyfriends. You make me sound like a hussy.”

  “Well, none of them were good enough.” He shifted in his seat to face me with those dark brown eyes that always seemed serious even when he was joking. “You’d introduce us to someone you were seeing, and within minutes, I’d know if he was right for you. It wasn’t just my impression of him. You’d tell me by the way you’d stand together, or react to his touch, or the tone of your voice. I’d always be relieved that you wouldn’t be falling for the guy, but then I’d be sad, too, because you’re so great, Jos. You deserve someone amazing.”

  “Marco,” I managed through the wash of pride I felt because I had this incredible man to care for me. “Thank you, but not everyone can be as lucky as you.”

  “Damn right, Phoebe’s the best. I want the same for you. From what I saw tonight, I think you might have found it.”

  “It was just a kiss.” I purposefully played down the event, more for myself than for him. That denial reared up again, but this time I wasn’t kidding myself about it.

  “You’re in the habit of kissing gorgeous women all of a sudden?” he teased but grew serious again. “I shouldn’t make light, but you’re insane if you think that was just a kiss.” He paused, probably waiting for me to object. Not that I could.

  “You’re not freaked?”

  “I should be asking you that question, unless you are in the habit of kissing women? Seeing as you broke up with Chase not long ago, I assume not.”

  “I don’t know what to think, honestly,” I admitted, pulling into his driveway. His house was a masterpiece like mine, as it should be since he’d built both.

  “At the risk of you smacking me,” he started and I tensed. Generally when he said that, I always felt like smacking him. “Could it be that you don’t know what to think not because you find yourself attracted to a woman, but because you find yourself falling in love for the first time?” He reached for the latch, waiting until the shock left my face. “That wasn’t just a kiss, Joslyn. Stop trying to think your way out of it. She’s good enough. I didn’t need to see the way she kissed you to know that.” I shook my head stunned by his observation and blessing. After he left the stillness of the car, I managed to drive myself home without getting into a wreck. Ever since, I’d apparently been sighing and daydreaming while reliving every sensation. What a hopeless loser.

  Two clicks on the laptop and I saved then closed out the revised business plan. As soon as Archie arrived, I’d make my final report.

  “Hi.” Her voice worked like a sheepskin coat blanketing out the painful cold of dead winter.

  “Hi,” I replied softly, glad I was sitting when I glanced up. Raven wore casual clothes but they were no less striking than her immaculate suit last night.

  “Final report?” Her hand gestured toward the bound report on the table next to my laptop.

  “Yes.” I kept from voicing the unnecessary. We both knew that, with this report and Archie’s acceptance, today would be my last day at Paul Industries. I hadn’t been worried about never seeing her again, but by her expression, maybe I should be. “I looked for you after the ceremony last night.”

  “I left early.” She glanced away.

  “That’s what Elise said when I caught up with her. Everything okay?” I didn’t know how to go about asking what I wanted to ask.

  She brought her glance back to mine and nodded once.

  “How are you?”

  The question wasn’t an innocent follow-up greeting, and I chose my response carefully. “That depends on whether you’re free for dinner tonight?”

  “Joslyn,” she started, but nothing else came.

  “Just dinner, Raven. We should talk.” I watched her defensive posture slacken. “I’ll pick you up at seven?”

  “I can meet you there.” She sounded as if my suggestion was the scariest thing she’d ever heard. “Which restaurant?” Before I could object, Archie pushed through the open door. “Ah, good, my beautiful niece.”

  “Hi, Uncle Archie.” Raven smiled without any consternation for him.

  “How are you, Joslyn?” His was a greeting.

  “Fine, Archie. I’ve just finished
the final business plan if you have some time?”

  “That’s what I was hoping you’d say when I waltzed in here. Shall we take this back to my office? Raven, join us?” He turned back to the doorway.

  “I’ve got to get the quarterlies done. I’ll leave you in good hands.” She patted his arm as he started off toward his office.

  I gathered up my report and laptop and went to follow Archie. When I reached Raven, she shifted slightly to allow me to pass through the open door. “Seven? I’ll come by your place, and we’ll decide where to eat then.” Her eyes searched mine, looking for an answer. She nodded twice, a brief smile pulling at the corners of those talented lips. With her acceptance, I had to keep myself from skipping off after Archie.

  * * *

  The guilty looks that intermittently peeked through troubled me the most. What did Raven feel she had to be guilty about? I could understand the looks of hesitation, wariness, even fear, but guilt didn’t make sense. If those worrisome glances hadn’t been broken by glimpses of desire and attraction, I’d have called an end to my determination to “talk” at this dinner.

  Our ride over had been comfortable. When I’d shown up at Raven’s, she looked as nervous as I felt, but I tossed her the keys to my Vette and delight took over her whole demeanor. She drove us to a restaurant that was farther away than I’d planned just so I could prolong her enjoyment.

  Settling around the secluded table, I struggled to keep from confronting her while we ordered. When her conflicting gazes continued to sift through more and more disquieting emotions, I decided frankness wouldn’t be the best course of action. We’d fallen into our usual easy conversation, moving from topic to topic without notice of the time slipping by. It was only during the lulls when a course was cleared or served that she’d flash those awkward emotion-filled glances.